2 years later...

Obviously I haven't posted anything in a while, although writing something has crossed my mind. Tonight I'm here because I feel overwhelmed and disappointed. I wish I could start over, I was doing well for a while and now I feel stuck in the same old crap, only probably even worse because I am dragging someone else with me. I also wish I were stronger, I find myself putting up that front where I act strong but in reality I am scared of being alone and without anyone, reason why I feel I am dragging others with me.I feel old and tired, even though I am only in my early thirties, I don't take care of myself possibly in part because I often think how it would be a sort of relief to die young from a heart attack...